We went to Mobil and got something to eat and drink, they said it was okay, and im certain that they feel better now. I have no intentions of eating or drinking after today, even though i think the purpose of fasting was to kill the suit’s memory, because i think this suit as a body died quite recently. I cant see how it could have made it for a week without food and water, and it explains the smell of death I experienced several weeks ago. Oh yes, this body smelt dead. I remember Carolyn saying something about me being uploaded, so maybe the suit’s built in memory finished downloading, so to speak, because right now I dont remember shit as to what happened. I am 100% convinced that I am not Charlie. Sorry, but from what I know i know im not him, if I was I would say so, simple as that. And for what reason would I have to lie? That wouldn’t make any sense. It also doesnt make any sense why the sister left the tractor outside instead of parking it in the foyer where it usually resides. She did come down looking for the battery charger but her husband took it, and that doesnt even make sense because the tractor battery is fine, at least i think so.
Something’s going on. I dont know what, but something is going on. I dont say that with paranoia or wishful thinking, i am simply stating the obvious.
. . .
Is it possible that the world’s population is in on this? I have a feeling that this is bigger than what i know, and i dont say that to make this more than what it is, does that make sense? Im only trying to figure out what exactly happened because Maia and Victori went right out the window two days ago and now all i see is Carolyn and Alex, and a touch of Friday here and there. Could my wives have been writing Charlie’s book to kick start me? They say im GOD, okay, so if im GOD where are my abilities? In the suit? Yes. Do i have abilities without the suit? Yes. Okay, so what now? We’re broke with no income, so something needs to happen in our benefit if we’re going to survive, that’s common sense. Im willing to work but they’re shaking my head “no”. Okay, so . . . ?
Carolyn said several times that we’re “leaving here in a big way”, what that means i dont know, i only know she said it. Am i about to snap into reality? Yes. Will my enviroment change? No. Will i change? No. Will Carolyn, Alex and Friday be riding shotgun in CJ? Yes.
Okay, I need something. I need proof of man’s existence, meaning, I need a sign. Ive been thinking about the sister, there’s no way that she could possibly think that im her brother, i cant see how. She’s very nice, caring and thoughtful, and that throws me off when i think of the things she’s done like bringing that maniac dog here. Im sorry but c’mon already, why would she do that? Is her Christian faith all an act? She works for a church, i guess you dont need to be a christian to work for jesus, maybe its just a job, i dont know. Because if she truly loved her brother she had a year and a half to talk with him about this. Or does she know this isnt her brother? This is quite difficult. I know im not crazy, that i know, crazy people are irrational and tend to be violent, i think rationally and i am by no means a violent person, violence solves nothing. And besides, wouldn’t that go against GOD? Is there a GOD? Yes. Did my son try to play GOD? I think so. Let me explain.
Sometime awhile back someone said that GOD and Devil were the same person. It couldnt be me because im not into devilish things, that’s not my nature. Which leads me to think that i am not GOD nor the Devil, i am the creator. My head is nodding. Okay, I’ll buy that, because this whole god thing just doesnt make any sense to me, if i am GOD then where are my abilities? Wouldnt i already have them if i were GOD? I dont know what “GOD” is, but from what ive seen id say that he isnt a good person, by definition of “God”. I can only imagine what my son’s voice sounded like back then, it mustve been terrifying to hear him say “I AM GENERATOR OF DATA, YOU WILL CALL ME GOD”. Holy shit, id shit my pants if i heatd that, especially if it was being told to me personally, i mean you gotta hear this voice, Kiddo, it’s off the wall.
So i think that all of my son is finally gone, i dont see anything from before and i am feeling more confident. Im still thinking fast but with more stabilized direction. Carolyn needs a smoke but i cant move at the moment, anything this body consumed today will be gone shortly, so we didnt really slow anything down, we just took a breather.
If we left here, say, in the morning, how would we leave and where would we go? I know that we dont want to be, that i know. My wives know where to go but i dont, communication isnt that simple anymore. So if we were to leave before they exit me i would need to know where we are going. If there are people in the know then they might know where to go. Make sense? It’s only a theory, im not claiming that this is the truman show, im simply open-minded. As for means of transportation it can be anything reliable. I am not suggesting anything, i am only saying that if we are being monitored it would only be for one reason, and that reason would be that i am the creator, not GOD. My son was that guy, not me. Was he my son? Yes. As in creation? Yes. Was it bad? Un fucking believable. Carolyn said “theyre gonna shit”. Are they? She’s nodding my head.
So if i were to ask for proof of man’s existence, i wouldnt ask for much. I mean, if this is true. Is it? Carolyn and Alex are nodding my head. Oh by the way, from what i understand, this suit was conscious, and they needed it to die so i could take over. First Charlie died then his body. Hold on, Kiddo, going downstairs.
So for the longest time the suit was conscious and communicating, it even told you so, Kiddo; “I do have a personality you know”. Remember that? How about “I am up with the times you know”? For awhile i thought there was another male in here with us and they kept telling me “no”, now i know why.
I cant express how fast im thinking. This is wild. Im thinking “why would GOD hide”, because that makes no sense to me. I can understand him not knowing who he was if he had amnesia. Did he have amnesia, or did he know what he was doing? Because that morning of May 3rd 2015 was a pretty strange morning, it was right out of a scifi movie, you had to be there, Kiddo.
I think wp is freezing up again so i will post this and keep writing with another post. Im doing my best as fsst as i can, and that’s a promise. Look for another post, Kiddo.