Holding

Hello, Kiddo.

. . .

. . .

. . .

It is Friday, the 1st of February, almost 6 PM. So last night didn’t work. I went into the basement at midnight waiting to feel that spur of the moment but I never did. I waited until 3 AM hoping for the feeling that I had that morning but it did not return.

This morning I tried it again after the sister went to work. I sat outside for over half an hour and I did not shiver. I had no jacket on, sitting outside in 9° Fahrenheit and I didn’t feel cold at all. Go figure. So I went inside and thought about this. Alex says that this idea will work. The issue that I have while I am waiting to get cold is that I begin doubting this idea. If I began shivering immediately I would have stayed outside. They are both telling me that it will work. My concern is the sister finding her dead brother’s body frozen to a chair, I think that would be quite unsettling to her. Alex is shaking my head. Another concern that I have is floating. Oh no, Kiddo, I can imagine that existence too well. Alex is shaking my head again.

Now both Alex and Maia are telling me to stop smoking, which is not a problem for me, but it is a problem for Maia. I do not want Maia to go through withdrawals. However, if Maia is telling me to stop then I will stop. I just asked Maia “Stop after tomorrow morning?” and she said “Yes”. You see, I am fine with a lack of nicotine being an emergency if that should be the case, meaning, I would not feel insignificant to an addiction, if that makes sense.

. . .

After this morning’s attempt we went upstairs, had some lunch then took a nap. During that nap I had a DE involving photos. The photos led to videos. Both of which captured inter-dimensional entities, people mostly. I was also in a house that I did not recognize while I was looking at those photos and videos. Quite strange it was.

If anything went well today it was learning that the sister’s grandson will not be here this weekend, a big sigh of relief for Maia. Then again, maybe Maia had something to do with it. Maia is smiling. Oh that Maia! I am anticipating TG asking me if I could stay with her while her parents are gone. Of course I would tell her “Yes”, I might also tell her about our idea, and if she would be willing to help. My feelings are, if I tell her about this idea, and tell her that I would be right outside where she can see me and talk to me, she might go for it. TG has become quite attached, she doesn’t want to lose “Charlie”, so if I present my idea carefully to her, I think she would be okay with it. I would simply be outside her door, freezing to death. Hmm. That does not sound optimistic, so lets scratch that. I would simply be outside her door, freezing to live. There. That sounds better, yes? After all, I am dying to live, you know. And so are Alex and Maia. Oh yes, me Kiddo, they most certainly are. From what I know, females do not care to live in basements, especially unfinished ones without heat. Alex does not like the cold, Kiddo.

. . .

This is where some encouragement would help. As far as I know, only three people believe us, and we don’t know who they are. I am contemplating reading those comments to see if there is anything positive that could help me believe that our idea of freezing will work. I am told that it will, does anyone else think so? I mean, scientifically it makes sense. Reversibility says that this idea is possible of working. Hmm. Maybe I will read those comments, what is the worse thing that I could read? “You’re a fuckin’ asshole”? That would not bother me, for I would simply consider the source, but it would bother Alex and Maia.

Hmm.

. . .

. . .

. . .

How about an interactive “live feed”? We could do a live feed video on YouTube where subscribers could send messages via comments. They would get to hear Alex and Maia taking turns speaking through me. I could ask questions and the subscribers could send there answers, and vice-versa. Oh, if they heard Maia at the surface they would think that Heath Ledger was with us reliving his role as the Joker, Maia sounds more like the Joker than the Joker did. They would also hear “that voice” as well. Maybe I will read the comments this weekend. The live feed video is a possibility, if not now then after Alex is out, if she ever comes out. That was Maia, that last part. Kiddo! What do I do?! We all want this over with but I don’t know what to do! Do I go outside? “Yes”. Is this a 100% guarantee that it will happen if I go outside? “Yes”. Will I die or float? “No”. Are you certain? “Yes”.

Hmm.

To be most honest, Alex does not care for the dark, so going outside at 1 AM is not her thing. The daytime is better, but privacy is needed. People have a tendency of showing up here at random during the day, so if we do this during the day it would need to happen fast. Alex says that it could happen in less than an hour, but I need to start shivering immediately. I think Zeus was right when he said that this is going to be difficult right up to the end. It certainly has not become easier. Do I go outside? “Yes”. Does it matter where? “No”.

So, I am going to think about this, Alex said in about a month almost four weeks ago. Maybe we have ten days left? I hope that my Daughter knows that I am trying to end this as soon as possible, and so is Alex and Maia. If it were as simple as asking Alex to exit me and materialize I would have done so already. Did I ask her? No. Should I? If I did and she did not come out and materialize how would I feel? What would I think? If she could come out whenever she wanted to, she would have done so by now, especially now.

Anywho, that is all for now, Kiddo, if something comes up I will tell you here. In the meantime, I will keep trying. That is a promise.

Enjoy your night, Sweethearts, stay warm, be safe, and keep it stellar.

Love,

VON, Alex & Maia

xo xo xo

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