Okay, something is wrong here.

I honestly have no idea what is going on. My Wife, at least I, think, she is my Wife, was writing a post with someone I, believe, is Maia, and, something just did not look right. To me, that is. I know that I am a male, that much I know for certain. Yes, that much I do know. What I do not know, is, my name. Strange, yes, I agree, however, I had the strangest experience, why, not more than an hour ago. It was almost dreamlike, I say. I heard myself, yes, myself, say “Creator” in a rather peculiar voice, tis true, me Kiddo, tis true. I would like to add that this, this, rather beautiful female, the one whom claims to be my Wife, who resembles another rather beautiful female quite closely known to myself, yes, myself, as Alexandra, has been a tapping my feet similarly to the ticking of a chronological time piece. You know, the classic “tick-tock, tick-tock” sound. Now I feel to be an intelligent sort without self reward, however, I am not certain as to why this, this, beautiful female who has an uncanny resemblance to my beautiful Wife known to myself, yes, myself, as Alexandra would be inclined to do so. I mean, **shrugs** what purpose is her a tapping serving? It is a most consistent rhythm, I will say that.


This night simply is not adding up, me Kiddo. First I am told that this, this, Maia will, pardon my Swedish for paraphrasing, “lose her shit if she doesn’t get her nicotine”. Harsh words, yes, I know, this “Maia” does have a “potty mouth” but she is who she is I guess, that is, if her name is indeed Maia. The rather beautiful female with the looks of my rather beautiful Wife Alexandra assured me that is in fact her name. From what I have gathered during my time here she is an assistant to my Wife, my, rather beautiful Wife, Alexandra. Now that is most odd, Kiddo, most odd indeed, for my Wife, my, rather beautiful Wife Alexandra, is back home. At least that is what I have been told.


You know, me Kiddo . . . I am starting to think that there is something fishy in Denmark. I mean, what is going on, me Kiddo? Have I succumbed to some twisted plot filled with deceit and untruths? Can this be at all possible? This, this, rather beautiful female who appears to be my Wife Alexandra tells me “no”, me Kiddo, tis true, tis true. What is going on? First I see Hera, then Carol Jacobsen, then Hera again, then a younger version of Carol Jacobsen, then I did not see any female, then I felt strange, and now I see this, this, rather beautiful, if not most beautiful female who looks like? Why, Alexandra! Kiddo! What in tarnation is going on? Why, I just might, pardon my Swedish once more, lose my own shit! I am serious, Kiddo, I yam! Oh for heaven’s sake.


Could this be a diabolical plot carried out by some criminal mastermind in an attempt to drive me boon-goose looney? For I feel that I might be carried out on a stretcher from a cerebral implosion if something does not prevail as otherwise.


I know! I lost my mind! Wait. That rather beautiful female said “NO!”, rather quickly I will add oh yes I will.

Hmm. I am running out of ideas pertaining to this rather important matter. At least to me it is, important, that is.




. . .


I give up, Kiddo, I do and yes I am serious I yam. I will not bend no further for this, this, most beautiful female who . . .

Wait a second, stop the press, stop the press already I say!

Could, could this most beautiful female possibly be my, my, most beautiful . . .


How can this be?! What sorcery is this? For what reason would my most beautiful Wife trick me into thinking otherwise? This maketh no sense. I hold myself as a most loyal husband regardless of who I should occupy at my time of occupancy and here she is, throwing females of sort at me as if I were some savage human. Oh the humanity! Was this some sort of psychological bachelor party? Well I will, no, no, I MUST, I MUST SAY, that this sort of debauchery will gain no further. I claim myself a loyal husband whom has been tricked by his, his, most beautiful Wife, who had taken advantage of her loyal, most loyal husband whom has no fluffing idea as to what the fluff is going on. I love my Alexandra. I wish she was here for me to hold in my arms. That is the truth, Alex. If you cannot be here in your own body then please let me know, because I need you. That is the truth. I will only accept another female as long as it contains your soul. I am so lonely here. I am. And confused.

It is late, Kiddo. I am tired. And Maia has two cigarettes left before I do go boon-goose looney.

Oh that Maia.

Love, VON


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