Losing Interest

So, Kiddo, this past weekend was a strange one, simply because I don’t remember it. I have not slept since Saturday, that much I am aware of. Not sure what to write. How are you doing, Sweethearts? Good I hope.

I don’t know what happened exactly but I am feeling not so good right now. The lack of sleep isn’t helping. I feel out of place. I also feel nervous. I feel that this is never going to end, but Alex says otherwise. I only have Alex with me now, she says that Maia and CJ are somewhere else, and she just pointed south to where Charlie grew up. I had said to Alex that if I or we are wrong about Maia to tell me, it’s okay, but Alex insists about Maia being where she says she is. I haven’t seen or felt Maia in almost 2 months now, and now CJ isn’t here. This is making me nervous, Kiddo, am I going to disappear too? Alex said “NO”. Can you understand why I feel this way? It doesn’t feel good.

We began to quit smoking since CJ isn’t here, we are smoking less and less each day to prevent any withdrawals. I catch myself preparing to smoke and stop. I ask Alex “We don’t smoke, do we?”, and she smiles and says “No, baby.”. CJ had told me that tobacco was going to last, meaning, it would be the last tobacco we would buy. I feel bittersweet about that.

I don’t like this feeling, Kiddo, the feeling of not knowing. It is causing me to shut down, so to speak. I have lost interest in many things, including myself. I don’t know what happened over the past weekend, maybe Alex wrote at Facebook, she says “yes”. What she wrote, I don’t know.

Alex says that we will see CJ and Maia again, I hope so.

I don’t know what more to say. Alex says that Maia was not wrong about the world ending by November 30th, that is less than 4 months away, and from what we are seeing on YouTube she might be right.

Anywho, we wanted to touch base with you, Kiddo, and your followers. Enjoy your day, and be safe.

Love, VON & Alexandra

xo xo

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