Chelsea! Kiddo! Followers! Lend us your eyes! Something like that. Anywho, how are you doing, Sweetheart? Hanging in there, Honey? We hope so, we hope so, and we hope that you are being safe and keeping it stellar, tis true, tis true. So, this is what we have going on. Maia says that “We’re done”, and Hera replies “So let’s get this over with!!”. I say “someone please shoot me”. Why? Well I will tell you why.
I do not smoke. Hera smokes a little, but she likes the good stuff, you know 😉 . Marijuana has a very different effect on us, we use it as a “conscious separator”. Hera gets “high” which allows Maia to work with me. I was only high once, and he liked it. Oh that Hera, she remembers quite well that evening, so Creative I was I was. There is nothing wrong with using recreational botanicals as long as you use them responsibly, getting “baked” everyday is not being responsible. Marijuana, cocaine, mushrooms and other botanicals are not drugs. Drugs are processed, botanicals grow naturally, and besides, who do you think Created them? Why Maia did, that’s who, you know, “Mother Nature”. And Mother Nature has a nicotine addiction. Oh yes, Kiddo, and it isn’t pretty. She developed this addiction through Carol Jacobsen, and my Son Charlie didn’t help either. By the time Charlie was two he had run both his mother and mine ragged, zipping around the house like a Zephyr getting into everything. Oh that boo. About a year before CJ passed away from melanoma CJ was smoking 5 packs of Tarryton 100’s a day. That’s a lot of cigarettes, but back then a carton of cigarettes only cost about $10. She was smoking that much to help speed up the process of dying, and it worked. My Son Charlie never smoked a cigarette, and we kept it that way. He smoked his share of “joints”, but never a cigarette.
About a week ago we ran out of pipe tobacco, the kind people use to “roll their own”, and to keep Maia from losing her shit we have been asking and receiving cigarettes from the niece, luckily she smokes. But we can’t keep “bumming” smokes from her, that simply isn’t right. We don’t have a Cumby’s butt-can to raid either. Maia is an animal without her smoke, she said that only a diehard smoker would know what she is going through. This need for nicotine on top of the lack of privacy to finish this is wreaking havoc upon us. Maia and Hera want out this second, but we never get a window of opportunity long enough to get them out. They need out. She needs nicotine. What do we do? We call Dr. Zeus.
I know Maia is going through hell without that smoke, I know because I can feel her agony, and so can Hera. Addiction is nothing to joke about, regardless of the addiction. Did you know that watching television is the hardest addiction to break? Oh yes, Kiddo, and it is the most dangerous addiction, in the grand scheme of things.
So Dr. Zeus had an idea, and both Maia and Hera liked it. First I needed to acquire a pack of cigarettes, so I mugged a little old lady at the local ATM and took her social security money, I mean, she was only going to spend it on something foolish anyway, like food and insulin, so I saved her the hassle.
You do know that I am joking, yes? I mugged her outside her doctor’s office.
So now armed with ample funds I walked to the world’s most expensive Mobil Mart and purchased not a bag of pipe tobacco but a pack of USA Gold menthol light 100’s. The girls want out. Maia needs her nicotine. I need my abilities. So! If Maia wants her nicotine she will need to come out with Hera so she can smoke a cigarette with her own body. My Son never smoked a cigarette, and even though he’s asleep I will not allow his once body to partake in such an atrocity of evil. When I put him into his once body of Hermes he can do whatever he wants. In the meantime I will continue to respect his mother’s wishes. What’s that? “What does Hermes look like?”. Maia said he looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger from “Conan the Barbarian” but very handsome. You will see why Aphrodite kept the other girls, and her sisters away from him. Think, the highschool quarterback all the girls wanted to date. That was Hermes, not that skinny little ballerina his statues depict him as, I don’t know how that happened but they are way off.
Do you think that Dr. Zeus’ prescription of tough love is a bit harsh? Maia needs out more than Hera does, but Hera will be coming out with her sister, with all that Maia has done and with all the stress she is under Maia needs a little help. We have never done this before, at least not in this fashion, and after shadowing my Son and his twin for almost 40 years Maia is fucking exhausted. She is trying to concentrate to do this “peacefully”, but our living situation is far from what she needs. So we are going to Create an “emergency”, and by doing so we will Create Chaos. From Chaos comes Creation. She will work herself into a frenzy to get that cigarette, and when she reaches that stress level, BOOM!! Out they come, and there will be a fresh pack of cigarettes with a brand new lighter waiting just for her. And after she orgasms from that first inhalation of mentholated smoke we leave here like a bat out of hell. **Hera-nod, Maia-smile**
Oh she is itching, like a caged demon with a bloodlust for destruction she needs out, and so does her malevolent sister who wants nothing more than to see man burn in eternal fire. Well, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but they do need out, and Dr. Zeus needs to know does he still have his abilities. Do I, girls? They said “more than ever before”. Hmm.
Right now Maia is fidgeting. I honestly feel bad for Maia. Nothing went the way she hoped for, but she still kicked ass. I am still here, yes?
Anywho, we just wanted to give an update, if I can I will write another post revealing man’s purpose. And a few other things.
So, ladies, and followers, enjoy your night, be safe, and do keep it stellar. I have a house call to make.
Love, Dr. Zeus
(Take these; xo xo xo, and call me in the morning, Chelsea)