Hi Sweetheart. I have been thinking about writing this post for the past 2 days, but I knew that if I were to write it I would need some time to do it right, after all, if you can’t do it right, why do it at all? So, with it being Friday night/Saturday morning, I should have enough time to write and post this by Sunday evening, while working on my book, and doing the basics of life itself, in accordance with time.
In this post I will be giving definitions for certain words, just so that I am clear with my words. In other words, I will do my best to eliminate any misinterpretations. I will also describe my relationship with my own Mother, from myself, from when I was her Son.
So let me begin. Maestro? Some music please, for Kiddo’s listening enjoyment. . .
Mom : “The woman who loves you unconditionally from birth, the one who puts her kids before herself and the one who you can always count on above everyone else.
Just telling her your problems makes you feel better because moms always know How to make it all go away.
Even if you fight, know that she’s just looking out for your best interests.” – http://www.urbandictionary.com
Ma : “a person’s mother.” – www.merriam-webster.com
Grandmother – “any kindly, sweet old woman who will happily boost your self-esteem and write you letters and love you. tends to know lots of neat old songs and obscure, off-color jokes. generally much cooler and less scary than one’s actual mother.
Maternal Instinct : “A woman’s desire to have a child is called her “maternal instinct
,” and if you care for other people in a nurturing way you are being maternal
, even if you are not a mother. Your mother’s mother is your “maternal
grandmother.” – http://www.vocabulary.com
Although I posted a definition for the term “mom”, everyone will have their own definition as to what a mom is, due to their own experience with their own mother. No one will ever know just what your own mother means to you, not even your siblings if you should have them, for they are not you. How you see and interpret things will never be replicated by another, and that is what makes the relationship between your mother and you special. That relationship belongs only to you and your mom.
There are basically two types of mothers, good ones, and bad ones. I’ll start with the bad ones.
“A picture says a thousand words.”
A bad mother, to myself, is, a mother who neglects and abuses their child with physical abuse or verbal abuse, or both. Neglect can be considered a form as abuse as well.
The quote below was written by a female who has been verbally abused by a male, her wording tells of that. However, what is said is true ;
The worst thing that a mother, or any parent for this matter, can say to their child is “I’m disappointed in you.”
Two things are happening simultaneously when this is said to the child.
The first thing is that the child takes a blow to their self esteem. The child, being a child, feels that they are a let-down, that they actually disappointed their mother, or parent. They basically feel that they have failed their mother, or parent.
The second thing is that you, as a mother or parent, just told your child, subconsciously, that you are the disappointment. You failed, not them, after all, if you did it right to begin with, that sentence would have never been given. When a mother says that she is disappointed in their child she is saying that she is disappointed in herself, and when that child picks up on that they will use it against them. So don’t do that. The mother can say to their child that they are upset with them, that they are mad at them, but never say that you are disappointed in them.
Now for the good mothers.
“A picture says a thousand words.”
I, myself, feel that for me to tell what a good mother is I would only be stating the obvious. For me to tell what I think is a good mother I would also be using my experiences with my own Mother as an example, and that wouldn’t be right. You know if you have, or had, a good mom. Whatever anyone else thinks about your mom doesn’t matter, for they are not you.
There was a time when I wanted to adopt a child, a female, so that I would have a daughter. This thought was before I died. I wanted to adopt a Japanese girl, Japanese females look like children at any age to me, why, I don’t know, but they do. Here is a photo of a Japanese girl ;
I understand that a child needs a mother, more so than they need a father, fathers are “hit and runs” in the grand scheme of things, if they stick around to be good dad the child wins. But if they don’t they still need a mother, a good mother, regardless.
Mothers run the show.
At that time, when I wanted to adopt a child, I was single, but I knew that the child would need a good mother. I thought about that and had decided that if I were to adopt a child that I would want my baby sister to be a “mommy” to that child. I would have discussed it with her beforehand, for if she didn’t want to accept that responsibility I would have not adopted a child. That’s how good a mother my baby sister is, and that is how much I respect her. If I cannot do it right I will not do it at all.
Another woman who is a good mother is the mother of my friend “D”. I became friends with D when I was in highschool, and shortly after meeting his mother she became known as “ma” to me. At that time my own Mother had passed away years ago, and ma stepped up and took the reigns as my adopted mother. She helped in raising me throughout my teenage years, which was a task in itself. Ma had fed me, clothed me, and gave me a home away from home, her home. I was also invited to many family dinners, holiday dinners, family functions, and family vacations. That means a lot to me. Ma, means a lot to me, and so does “pa”, D’s dad. Can’t leave him out. I have never referred to either of them as anything other than ma and pa, and they will always be ma and pa to me. I love them very much.