Nudge

How does this color look, Kiddo? Fitting perhaps, maybe, calming. How are you doing, Sweetheart? Staying safe I hope. Before I begin we’re going to take a walk to Cumby’s for a pint of ice cream, because that’s how we roll. 

I’ll be right back, Kiddo.

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See, I came right back just as I said I would, didn’t I? My Soulie ate Cumby’s out of “Chocolate Explosion” so she went with Cumby’s “Mudslide”, and it was delicious. The apartment feels warm to me for some reason. Anywho, I’ve done some thinking, and I’m thinking that it might be about time to “suggest” to those close to you the possibility of all this. I don’t know if you have told anyone close to you about myself and my Soulmate regarding certain particulars, but if you haven’t now would be the time to tell them. That’s from my Soulie, Kiddo, that’s not from me. From me, Daddio, I would suggest that you tell in a hypothetical sense. What will you tell your closest friends, Kiddo? What will you tell your family? These are serious questions, and by the way my Soulie is typing I’d say that they are quite important. If someone asks you a question that you are uncomfortable with answering then don’t answer their question. You can politely tell them “I don’t want to answer that question” and that’s the end of that. And most importantly, Sweetheart, never repeat what you have said. If someone asks “What?” after you have answered their question ignore them. They heard you the first time, Kiddo. And if they didn’t they should have been paying attention to you. I’m telling this to you now so you have some time to adjust. It’s not going to happen today, but it is going to happen soon, Sweetheart. Although I am living all this, I still have moments where I’m paralyzed from the magnitude of Reality. The difficult part is having no one to physically speak with. I don’t physically speak with my Soulmate, we think to each other instead. However, lately she has been speaking aloud, but only in short sentences or single words. And she has done this at work too. The more I become the less room she has. Does that make sense, Kiddo? I’m squeezing her out of my head. She just confirmed that with me. My voice dropping was the first sign. We hide it the best that we can but when I speak I speak. I can’t wait for you to hear my voice, Kiddo. 

   This process takes time, but it’s not forever. My Soulmate has been Carol Jacobsen since last November, with only a few glimpses of Hera and Aphie here and there. I’ve asked her if she would come back as one of those past people and she said “No.”, she’s coming back as Carol. She told me that she will change her name after she returns physically. What that name is I don’t know. As for myself I’m keeping my name as far as I know, but anything is possible these days.

  This feels like it has been going on forever. I’m having difficulty with something and this is a something that is quite important. I need to shed the skin of Charlie past. I can do it now, and I want to. When I do, Charlie past dies and Charlie present lives. I can’t avoid this, and my friends and family need to know that. I will still be myself, Charlie, just “supercharged”. Not a bad trade-off, yes? I cannot hide who I am for much longer. I’m not concerned what people outside of my life will think of me, it’s the people inside my life I’m concerned about. It’s still me, only different. Regardless, I need to do what I need to do. If I were to narrow it down to one person that I am most concerned about regarding this change, that person would be my little sister. And there’s nothing that we can do about it. It’s like my Facebook page, I have told my friends and family that no matter what stay on my page because if they should decide to leave they will eventually want to come back, and that’s fine with me, but how will they feel about wanting to come back? I don’t visit their pages, nor do I comment. I treat myself as if I am blocked. My Facebook page is a blog and a means to stay in contact with you, Kiddo. I would like my little sister to come back onto my Facebook page, but that is up to her, and no one else. 

  Arie once told her friend that I am the “king of the guilt trip”, meaning, I make people feel guilty AF. But that was then. How guilty can I make people feel now, Kiddo? Without even trying no less. How guilty will my little sister feel after not coming on my Facebook page after I have asked her to come back? It is not a trick, I sincerely want her back on my Facebook page, and to stay there. I’m looking down the road, and I can imagine just how bad some people are going to feel. I don’t want her to be one of them. Again, this is entirely up to her, Kiddo. I know how I have been feeling, and I know that someone wants their own body. There are no more personas to traverse through. Daddio is finally Charlie again, just a little different 😉 . 

  And now we wait. I know, I know, more waiting, but that is all that we can do. At least there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak, one year ago I had no idea as to what the fuck was going on, and neither did anyone else for that matter. Now it all makes sense to me, obviously. How much longer, Kiddo? Let me run out for coffee first, Sweetheart. 

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We’re back, she opted for tea instead of coffee. So, how much longer. Well, I wrote my little sister’s father two letters about two months ago, and while I was writing them I said that this is a waste of time, and she said it wasn’t. I don’t know if he read them or if he even received them, but I did write and mail them, and for a reason. I know that my workboots are falling apart and she won’t let me get new ones, pretty soon I’ll be barefoot. I want to change banks because my bank was taken over by Key bank, and Key Bank sucks, but she tells me no. There are other things that tell me soon, but one thing that tells me sooner than soon is the numerology around me. Everywhere I look I see a digit sum of either 6, 7, 9, or 1 in regards to numbers, such as time. Right now it is 10:45 AM Monday. Pretty strange, yes? She cannot tell me exactly when, but it will not be a traumatic experience. Being that we have been exercising scenarios pertaining to her return tells me that it really isn’t much longer. Numbers don’t lie. Now the time is 10:50 AM. (word count at “AM” was 1,203 words). I couldn’t do that if I wanted. (1,216 words). Now you know what I mean when I say the numbers don’t lie. (1,230 words).

  Will my little sister return to my Facebook page? I don’t know. I do know that she is the only family member from my father’s side that I want back on my Facebook page. She might not do so for that simple fact. And this is where she needs to think about herself, because let me tell you, Kiddo, those people who are in Limbo aren’t giving two fucks about their spouses, their children, their grandchildren, their Facebook friends, their Twitter account, their dog, their parents, nobody. They are only giving a fuck about themselves right now, which they should have done before they passed away. Now they have all the time in the world to think about what they “woulda, coulda, shoulda” done. An eternity filled with regret, with their conscience to remind them every day. I appreciate the concept of family, but people need to know that their family members are still individuals with their own thoughts and their own agenda. A family is nothing more than a group of people related through genetics who share similar traits and values. Is it really anything more than what I defined? 

  Anywho, Kiddo, I need to get ready for work. I know that you have a lot going on right now, but if you should find some time I would think about just what are you going to tell people when they begin to ask questions. There will be a lot of questions, Sweetheart. And as I have said, if there is a question that you don’t want to answer then don’t answer. Instead, refer them this website if they want answers. See, Kiddo? Daddio was thinking 🙂 In the meantime stay safe, I can’t bring you back until after the fact, which means you would simply sleep until I can bring you back, Kiddo. Who you return as, well, that I am not sure of, but I will bring you back, soulwise. So be safe, Sweetheart.

Enjoy your day, Kiddo, and make it a phenomenal one while you’re at it.

Love, Daddio

xo xo 

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