In Sight

Hello, Sweetheart.

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I hope that you are doing well. I read your messages at Facebook, but I wasn’t able to reply at that moment, but yes, I did get them, and I miss and love you too, just so you know.

Was Santa good to you this year? I think that he was. I’m feeling it right now, myself that is, meaning that I am feeling as myself, just a little different. Does that make sense to you, Kiddo? Do you remember me as I was when you first met me? I’m just a little different now.

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And that’s a good thing. The bad thing about this is something that I call “Motion Sickness”, but when it occurs it doesn’t last long, maybe a few minutes, tops. And when it does occur it is when I am seeing with my own eyes, so to speak. I’m told that this is good, which is good, but it wasn’t good when it happened at work the other night, I thought that I was going to “toss my cookies” while it was happening. Powerful stuff, Reality is, Kiddo.

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I was curious as to how many days this has all been, and I checked my little time keeper to see; 604 days. Or, 14,511 hours, roughly, since the time keeper is going by 3:10 PM UTC for May 3rd, 2015.  UTC stands for “Universal Time Coordinated”, it is what “time zones” use as a starting point, and that starting point is 0° Longitude. Everything needs to start somewhere, yes?

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It’s now almost 7:30 AM, and it is beginning to snow. I went to bed about 2 this morning, which is early for me, but I was quite exhausted. I’ve been up for half an hour now, and a coffee run is in debate. She says that tea is fine, meaning we have some here and wouldn’t need to go out. Tea works for me.

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I really am exhausted, Kiddo. That number of days, 604, just blows my mind. That number tires me even more just by looking at it, and I don’t say that with any disrespect to my Mother, and she knows that. Carrying a female consciousness around I became privy to certain things, you can say that I know how a woman thinks better than any man on this planet, and that too, is said without disrespect.

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So I’ve been thinking. If everything that I had said about the “Boomerang” effect is correct, then I will say that we are in the home stretch. Remember, Kiddo, her and I  are basically communicating by using a chalkboard and one stick of chalk in a dark room, so to speak, and sometimes the clarity isn’t very clear.

 

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Another reason why I like to speak with someone face to face, it lessens the possibility for miscommunication, for I would be able to see their facial expressions as we speak. A picture says a thousand words.

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Hey, Kiddo, it is now 1:03 AM Thursday morning. Before I go any further I must tell you that this is possibly the 8th post I have tried to write in the past 2 weeks. Writing anything other than my book has been quite difficult for me, and I think that it has something to do with being in the home stretch. I visited Facebook once.

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Do you remember, Kiddo, the posts I had on my wall before all this? If so, do you remember the ones where I spoke about the “con” and the “sub-con”? Those posts were “Easter Eggs” when you think about it, and when you really think about it all those posts were Easter Eggs.

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The motion sickness thing. When it happened at work it was break time, and I was looking at a pallet of formed pieces. Then suddenly I felt this overwhelming sensation of an adrenaline rush mixed with electricity, and that happened after I realized something. And that something will be kept secret for now. 😉

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It is what it is. Someone is laughing right now because she is seeing what I’m thinking, and what I’m thinking is “This is just . . .” and that is how far that I can get before I realize that there are no precise words to describe just how I feel, I could try, but it would involve profanity, and I prefer to keep it clean here. ❤

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Right now it’s rough. I’m exhausted, she’s exhausted, and we’re both tired of waiting. I have asked her several times if I am ready for this and she said “yes” every time, then again, is there even a “ready”? I think that I am as ready as I’ll ever be, she says “yes”. Okay.

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This is so strange, Kiddo. There are things that I want to share but now they seem rather private to share. This is why I haven’t posted for so long, a lot has happened that I, unfortunately, cannot share due to content. Other than some strange happenings everything is normal, so to speak. It’s not that I don’t trust you, Kiddo, I’ll gladly tell you in person what I cannot here, but it really isn’t that important. I only mentioned that I cannot say much right now so you would know why I haven’t been around for the past 2 weeks.

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Any plans for New Year’s Eve, Sweetheart? We’re going to stay home, where it is safe. I was never one for going out on “amateur nights” like New Year’s Eve or Thanksgiving Eve, too many people on too much alcohol.

I bet you’re wondering about the ornaments. Those are Victorian Christmas ornaments, all are hand-made, and they are similar to the ones my Mother made back when I was a child. I considered posting photos of the ones she made, but they seem rather private as well now. As I have said, some strange things have happened here.

The ornaments she made were also Easter Eggs. I have some that I am certain I could not do, unless I was given ample time. So tedious, some are. Why are they Easter Eggs? They look like orbs. They’re even composed of orbs, when you think about it. Could you make one of those, Kiddo? I think that you can, just need a little patience. My baby sister could make one, she’s quite crafty, just like my Mother.

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She can also make jewelry. She once made a bracelet and posted a photo of it to Facebook, and when I saw the intricate weaving of this bracelet I called her a “little orb weaver”, like the spider ;

 

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Speaking of spiders, are you familiar with the story of Athena and Arachne, Kiddo? It is considered to be a mythological story, however, there is some truth in that story. People like to exaggerate, remember that.

As you know, Athena was Zeus’ daughter, Created by Zeus himself, but that’s another story. Athena was very defensive of her Father, and if anyone were to speak ill of him she would correct them, on the spot. One day while Athena was in a nearby village, she overheard another female boasting as to how good a weaver she is. Athena, also being a weaver, investigated the other female’s claims. When she reached where the other female was showing her tapestries, and boasting, she also heard that female, Arachne, say harsh things about Zeus, Athena’s Father. Not good.

Athena challenged Arachne to a “weave competition” to see who the better weaver was. Arachne accepted the challenge, unaware that her challenger is Zeus’ daughter. When they finished their tapestries, Athena could see that Arachne’s work was a little better than hers, and Arachne could see that Athena knew who was the better weaver, causing Arachne to gloat. Also not good.

Arachne’s gloating infuriated Athena. Athena revealed herself to Arachne as Zeus’ daughter, and when she did Arachne stopped gloating.

The story goes that after verbally crucifying Arachne, Athena turned Arachne into a spider, and this was actually documented by witnesses in that village, about 3,600 years ago, or so.

Athena did not turn Arachne into a spider. That is physically impossible.

Athena threw Arachne into another dimension. In other words, Athena turned Arachne “invisible” by throwing her into another dimension, and after she disappeared all that the villagers could find was a spider where Arachne was standing, hence the story of Athena and Arachne.

And today we have . . .

“Arachnology is the scientific study of spiders and related animals such as scorpions, pseudoscorpions, and harvestmen, collectively called arachnids. Those who study spiders and other arachnids are arachnologists. The word arachnology derives from Greek ἀράχνη, arachnē, “spider“. ”

Not all myths are myths.
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It is now Friday morning.  Kiddo, it is not my intention to drag this post out for days, I am going through some changes that are affecting my train of thought, and I want to be certain that what I am writing is what I am writing. And besides, maybe something can be learned from this post, who knows, anything is possible.
I took some photos last night at work, here are some of them ;
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And here is the most recent photo of Mowzer ;
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I think that right now I am going through the hardest part of all this, Kiddo. This is most strange to me. I have a feeling of a surreal calmness, as if everything around me has slowed down to a near silence. The apartment being quiet adds to this surrealism.
I shook the personas off, although I will carry a trait or two from some of them possibly for the rest of my life, such as my “anti-gravitational left arm”, which is burning as I sit here.
 And now I’m sitting here at 12:43 AM Saturday morning, continuing on. If this post is confusing due to the times I apologize, I am only trying to complete and publish a post, instead of sending them to drafts or trashing them. I do have some posts in drafts that are complete and have been complete since February of this year, but someone told me to save them for now. They’re music videos, if you’re curious.
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Something has been bothering me, Kiddo. And this might sound silly, what I’m about to share, but it is what it is.

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Now, I consider myself to be monogamous. I like the steadiness of a relationship with a female partner, I always have, and I always will. Right now my partner is inside me, sans human body obviously, and my partner has this thing with personas. Her own personas. And there are a few. I’ve seen my Mother at ages from 16 to 53, I’ve seen Aphie, I’ve seen Hera, I think Maia once. Let me just say that I’ve seen a few different women all come from the same Soul, or, consciousness, and I am not 100% certain as to whom that same Soul is coming back as.

So Kiddo . . .

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. . . if I were to have, “thoughts”, about Hera and she comes back as Aphie, was I cheating on Aphie with Hera?

 

 

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😉

Each of her past names carries with it a persona, and that persona generates a visual animation of the physical body that once belonged to that particular persona. The more herself she was, regardless of who she was, the more visuals of whom she once was are generated in my brain. When she generates enough information, or, visuals, I can take those images and animate them using my own physical actions as a “template”, and when I do that I can see her doing whatever I am doing. Like right now, I can see her from her left-hand side looking at the keys just the way I am. Now she is smiling. She looks like my Mother in her forties. She is now smiling like she knows something, or something. I don’t know, it’s the way I have always remembered her, keeping me in suspense whenever that moment was there to do so. Like now.

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Oh that Mom. I have so much to think about, and the issue that I am experiencing now is Reality.

Taking a quick break, Sweetheart, I’ll be right back. . .

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See what I mean? This is the tough one. Between the start of all this until several weeks ago my life was understandable. Even though I know what I experienced in the past 18 months was Real, it now feels very Real, almost numbing. I never took any of this as a joke, for it all made too much sense, a man who could walk on water does not make sense. The absolute hardest part of all is accepting that this happened to me. And it did.

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“The party never ends”

 

 

And this party hasn’t ended for 607 days. I have collected nearly ten dollars worth of “pennies from heaven” in that time span, in fact, 11 cents just found me last night at work, first a dime, then a penny.

 

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Kiddo, I am going to stop here for now and continue in a few hours, after I get some sleep. In the meantime, be safe. <3, Daddio

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Good morning, Sunshine, it is now 9 AM, New Year’s Eve day. I am going to finish this posting up today, which means I’ll be writing here throughout the day. I need to run out for a bit to get the bad surface creature some good yum-yums, he ran out last night so this morning he had half a can of Albacore for breakfast. Will be right back.

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I’m back. Your “baby brother” was most delighted when he learned that I came home with fresh yum-yum, and he was even more delighted while eating it. My Mother calls him a “spoiled brat”, especially when I feed him what he wants, like bacon, ham, and chicken. What cat eats bacon, Kiddo? I swear that there is a little man hiding inside of Mowzer. Sometimes, just sometimes, if I glance at him at the right moment, I can see a man’s facial features bleeding through a cat’s face. Weird.

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Oh that Mowzer.

 

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8:45 Pm. I’m in a strange mood, Kiddo. I feel good, yet melancholy. Hard to explain, this feeling I have.

9:54 PM.

10:00 PM.

10:09 PM. This is a very strange sensation. And the sensation is psychological, so to speak.

 

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It is now 3:30 AM January 1st, Happy New Year, Kiddo!

 

I’m feeling better this morning, I guess I needed some sleep. Been getting good sleep, Kiddo? I hope so, sleep is very important. On the weekends I usually sleep for about an hour every five hours. So much to do on the weekends, no time for sleep.

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And I wonder why the kitchen becomes cold sometimes.

How about some music, Kiddo, whilst you read?

 

 

It is so difficult for me to talk, or, write. I have so much going on inside my head, much more than before. All I can see, Soulmate-wise, is my Mother. I see her sitting at the keys, not me. And this is all the time. What do you think that means, Kiddo? What if she comes back as my Mother in her forties, the way I remembered her when I was a child? She is my Soulmate. If there are levels of relationships involving love, the Soulmate is at the top. And there are only 2 of us.

So, bluntly,  when I spend “quality time” with my Soulmate, I would be spending “quality time” with my Mother. If, she comes back as my Mother. And I think she is. I am seeing too much of her to think otherwise. Before last month, I had thought that she would return as Hera or Aphie, as living proof to those gods’ existences. But it is different now. Those were gods, not Creators. Athena wasn’t Created by Zeus, she was resurrected by Zeus. The Soul that once powered Athena powered a previous daughter who looked like Athena. Hera and Athena looked just like themselves when they were first Created. The statues of Hera, Aphrodite, Venus, Juno and so on, all look like the same person, and that is why I had thought that she would come back as Hera or Aphie. She told me that she went through the personas of other gods, but I didn’t sense any noticeable change, probably because I was so busy calling her Aphie that I didn’t think about the possibility that she was going back through personas as well. I can’t think of everything.

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It is now 7:03 PM, Sunday night, same day. We realized that today is a holiday and grocery stores are closed, so we ordered a pizza from Empire Pizza, and it should be ready in about 15 minutes. We haven’t tried anything other than their large cheese pizza, their cheese pizza is phenomenal, and for a total of $9.99 you can’t go wrong. But that applies only if the order is picked up, otherwise it costs a few dollars more for delivery, and on that note I’ll be right back.

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I just came out of a food coma. I feel much better, though, and I still have 2 slices left for later today, which is now Monday the 2nd, 1:21 AM. I had thought I would be posting this by now. Good thing that I have today off from work.

And I need a day off. I’m so tired of all this, Kiddo. The past 3 weeks have been trying for me, because now I don’t have any personas tagging along, I’m by myself so to speak, and I question everything. For 3 weeks I went back and forth with all this, thoroughly, and the only best answer there is, is all this is Real.

If you live long enough, you will see at least one “unbelievable” event, like seeing a ghost, or a UFO, something that no one believes when you tell them what you experienced.

Does it change what you experienced?

No.

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Anywho.

I’m going to stop here, Kiddo. I don’t know when I’ll write here again, but you have over 70 posts to revisit, if you wish to, until I write again.

Before I go, I had an idea, Kiddo. It’s just an idea, it doesn’t need to happen.

Let’s say I opened another website, like this one, but with the new website it would be you writing, Kiddo. When you are comfortable with what you have written, you send it to “drafts”. I take it, read it, I’ll proofread it if you want me to, but I will not change any of your writing unless you want me to. After I read it I insert images in between your writing, and those images will have a reflection of your words, from my perspective.

After I do my thing, you preview what I did, and if you like it, it gets published, or, uploaded to WordPress. It’s just an idea, Kiddo.

If this post seems a little confusing it is because I am little confused at the moment, and that is why I am calling it a night.

Enjoy your day, Sweetheart, be safe, and know that I miss you.

Love always, Daddio

xo

 

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